Estate Planning That Helps You Flourish: A Positive Psychology Approach
When most people hear the words estate planning, they think of legal documents, taxes, and tough conversations. It can feel dry at best, and morbid at worst. But what if we reframed estate planning as a way to flourish?
Martin Seligman, a founder of positive psychology, introduced the PERMA model in his book Flourish—one of our Five Lever Book Club picks. The model outlines five essential elements of well-being: Positive Emotion, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, and Accomplishment.
What if your estate plan didn’t just reflect your financial assets, but also your life’s purpose, your legacy, and your vision for those you love? What if it could be a roadmap for flourishing—both for you now and for those you leave behind?
Let’s explore how the PERMA model can shift your mindset around estate planning and help you create a plan that aligns with Authentic Wealth—your values, your impact, and your joy.
P – Positive Emotion: Leaving a Legacy of Love
Estate planning offers an opportunity to generate positive emotion—not just for your heirs, but for yourself.
Think of the joy in writing a letter to your grandchildren that shares your hopes for their future. Imagine the peace of knowing you’ve eased the burden for your family during a difficult time. Visualize the gratitude they’ll feel when they realize how thoughtfully you planned ahead.
Too often, people delay estate planning because it brings up fear or anxiety. But done intentionally, estate planning can be a powerful act of love. It allows you to express care, appreciation, and generosity.
How to apply this:
- Write legacy letters to accompany your will or trusts.
- Use charitable giving as a source of joy, directing funds to causes that light you up.
- Name meaningful items in your personal property memorandum and share why they matter.
E – Engagement: Being an Active Creator of Your Legacy
Engagement is about flow—those moments when you’re so immersed in what you’re doing that you lose track of time. While estate planning may not seem like a flow activity, it can be deeply engaging when it aligns with your values.
Consider this: What do you want to be remembered for? How do you want to use your resources—financial, emotional, and intellectual—to shape the future?
When you actively engage with your estate plan, you take control of your legacy. You become a creator rather than a passive subject of circumstance.
How to apply this:
- Don’t just fill in forms—pause to reflect. What values do you want to pass on? What stories should live on?
- Get curious: Ask your advisor or attorney about creative options, like purpose-driven trusts or family foundations.
- Revisit your plan periodically to ensure it reflects the you you are becoming.
R – Relationships: Estate Planning as an Act of Connection
Estate planning, at its heart, is about people. It’s about your spouse, your children, your siblings, your friends, your community.
It’s also about communication. Too often, family conflict arises not because of what the documents say, but because of what was left unsaid.
Positive psychology tells us that strong relationships are one of the biggest predictors of well-being. Estate planning can actually strengthen your relationships—when it includes open dialogue, empathy, and clarity.
How to apply this:
- Hold a family meeting to explain your decisions, values, and vision.
- Choose fiduciaries (healthcare proxy, power of attorney, executor) who not only are capable but understand your heart.
- Share your thinking behind your decisions. It can help avoid resentment and build understanding.
M – Meaning: Passing on More Than Money
This is where estate planning gets profound.
Meaning is about serving something greater than yourself—whether that’s family, community, faith, or the future. Estate planning gives you a chance to articulate what mattered most to you and to embed that into your legacy.
Rather than simply asking, Who gets what?, ask:
- What impact do I want to have?
- What causes do I want to support?
- What traditions or stories do I want to pass down?
At Abaris, we believe money is just one piece of the puzzle. A truly meaningful legacy includes your values, your vision, and your voice.
How to apply this:
- Incorporate philanthropy into your estate plan through donor-advised funds, charitable trusts, or bequests.
- Create a family mission statement.
- Record a video or write a memoir sharing your life lessons and defining moments.
A – Accomplishment: Celebrating a Life Well-Lived
Accomplishment is about striving and achieving—but it’s also about acknowledging the journey. Too many people think of estate planning as a chore to check off. But what if it were a celebration?
When you take the time to plan, you affirm your life’s work. You recognize the impact you’ve made, the wisdom you’ve gained, and the security you’ve created for others.
Completing your estate plan isn’t just a legal task—it’s a life milestone. And like any accomplishment, it deserves to be honored.
How to apply this:
- Set a date to finalize your plan—and celebrate it when you do!
- Include accomplishments and milestones in your legacy documents or letters.
- Work with your advisor or coach to create a “life review” that acknowledges what you’ve built and how far you’ve come.
Bringing It All Together: Estate Planning and the Five Levers
At Abaris, we talk about building Authentic Wealth across five key levers: Finances, Health, Mindset, Relationships, and Time.
Estate planning touches all five:
- Finances: You direct your assets with clarity and intention.
- Health: You make choices about care, dignity, and quality of life.
- Mindset: You shift from fear or avoidance to purpose and empowerment.
- Relationships: You open conversations that build trust and reduce conflict.
- Time: You invest your time now to free your loved ones from confusion later.
In short, estate planning is one of the most holistic—and generous—actions you can take. It’s not just a legal obligation; it’s a deeply human opportunity to flourish and help others do the same.
Final Thoughts: Plan With Your Heart
Martin Seligman reminds us that flourishing is not about eliminating struggle—it’s about cultivating well-being, connection, and meaning despite life’s uncertainties.
Estate planning is similar. We don’t plan because we expect the worst. We plan because we want to live—and love—on purpose.
So as you consider your next steps, ask yourself:
How can my estate plan be a reflection of the life I’ve lived, the love I’ve given, and the legacy I hope to leave?
If you’re ready to begin, we’d be honored to walk alongside you. Because planning for the future is one of the most powerful ways to flourish in the present.