The Retirement Anti-Bucket List: Why Knowing What You Don’t Want is Just as Important as Knowing What You Do
When most people think about retirement planning, they picture sandy beaches, long-awaited bucket list trips, or finally taking up that watercolor class. These dreams are valuable and motivating—but they’re only one side of the coin. At Abaris, we believe that crafting an intentional retirement isn’t just about what you want to do—it’s also about getting crystal clear on what you don’t want to do.
Enter the Retirement Anti-Bucket List.
This powerful exercise asks: What are the things you absolutely don’t want in your next chapter? What obligations, energy-drains, environments, or even people would you prefer to leave behind as you step into your next season of life? In a world that often focuses on “more,” sometimes clarity comes from choosing less.
What Is an Anti-Bucket List?
While a traditional bucket list is a catalog of dream experiences, an anti-bucket list is a conscious curation of things you choose to opt out of. These might include:
- Toxic relationships
- Stressful holiday obligations
- Overscheduling your time
- Home maintenance you dread
- Business commitments that no longer spark joy
- Roles you’ve outgrown
It’s a boundary-setting practice—but it’s also much more than that. It’s a way to realign your life with your deepest values, and to create the space needed for joy, peace, and meaning.
How the Anti-Bucket List Supports Authentic Wealth
At Abaris Financial Group, our mission is to help you achieve Authentic Wealth—which we define as living a life of purpose, balance, and impact across five key areas: Finances, Health, Mindset, Relationships, and Time. We call these the Five Levers.
When we create space for what we don’t want, we allow room for what truly matters in each of these areas:
- Time: Reclaiming the Most Precious Resource
Time is the one resource we can’t earn more of. Your anti-bucket list helps you use it more wisely. What are the recurring time commitments that no longer serve you? What routines, traditions, or expectations are draining your joy?
By naming what no longer belongs, you give yourself permission to reclaim your time for rest, creativity, service, or simply doing nothing at all—without guilt.
- Mindset: Breaking Free from ‘Shoulds’
Retirement often comes with a long list of “shoulds”: I should volunteer more, I should babysit the grandkids every Friday, I should finally renovate the kitchen. But what if those “shoulds” aren’t aligned with your purpose or joy?
An anti-bucket list invites you to pause and ask: Who told me I had to do this? Then it gives you the freedom to rewrite the narrative. This is the work of unlearning—and it’s central to developing a mindset rooted in abundance, clarity, and agency.
- Relationships: Creating Space for the People Who Matter Most
Your time and emotional energy are limited. If you’re constantly navigating drama, obligation, or guilt-driven connections, you’re spending your relational capital in ways that may not serve you.
By setting relationship boundaries—whether it’s stepping back from toxic dynamics or simply saying no to people-pleasing—you create space for more nourishing, life-giving connections. You protect your energy for those relationships that truly align with your values.
- Health: Protecting Your Energy and Well-Being
Overcommitting in retirement can lead to burnout, stress, and even health decline. When you know what you’re opting out of—like social events that exhaust you, volunteering that depletes you, or routines that compromise sleep or wellness—you’re better able to protect your physical and mental health.
This isn’t about saying “no” to everything. It’s about saying “yes” more intentionally—yes to walks in nature, yes to rest, yes to meals that nourish and movement that energizes.
- Finances: Spending in Alignment With Your Vision
One of the most powerful parts of an anti-bucket list is its impact on how you allocate resources. When you let go of social pressures and internalized expectations, you free yourself to spend money in ways that align with your vision—not someone else’s idea of success.
Maybe you no longer want the burden of a second home. Or you decide to skip fancy cruises and instead invest in a mindfulness retreat. These choices aren’t lesser—they’re more you. And that’s what makes them powerful.
How to Create Your Retirement Anti-Bucket List
This exercise can be simple, reflective, and even fun. Here’s a step-by-step to get started:
- Reflect on Past Chapters
Think about commitments, habits, or relationships that drained your energy or didn’t align with your values. What do you not want to carry forward? - Listen to Your Body
When you imagine certain people or obligations, do you feel tension or relief? Use your body as a compass to guide your choices. - Name the ‘Shoulds’
Make a list of all the things you think you should do in retirement. Now go back through and ask yourself which ones actually matter to you. - Declare Your Boundaries
Write out a list of things you’re saying “no” to in your next chapter. Then write the corresponding “yes” that this opens up. - Review with a Trusted Advisor
This is where financial life planning shines. When you share your anti-bucket list with your advisor, we can help you build a financial roadmap that supports what you’re opting into—not just what the spreadsheets say is possible.
From Clarity to Courage
Creating an anti-bucket list is an act of courage. It requires honesty, reflection, and sometimes even grief. But it also leads to peace, clarity, and empowerment.
When you’re intentional about what you release, you open yourself up to what’s next. You move from autopilot to authorship.
And that’s where Authentic Wealth truly begins.
Final Thought
If you’re ready to reimagine what retirement looks like—not just in terms of what you’ll do, but also what you’ll no longer do—we’re here to help. At Abaris, we combine financial expertise with life planning and coaching to help you step confidently into your next chapter with purpose, freedom, and joy.
Let’s build a plan that supports your true vision of an abundant life—starting with the freedom to say no.