Financial Mindfulness: Expose Money Lies & Heal Your Relationship with Money
As a financial life planner, I talk to people about money every day and I’ve noticed it’s a loaded subject! Our relationship with money is often one of the most complicated relationships in our lives. Which may be one of the reasons people tend to procrastinate coming up with a financial plan – it’s just too stressful!
Thankfully I discovered financial mindfulness, and how I could use it to help my clients (and myself) develop a healthier relationship with money. It all started in 2012 when I impulsively decided to attend Jon Kabat-Zinn’s mindfulness program at UMass. A one-day silent retreat was part of the program and it was a revelation. Turning off my cell phone and just being with myself for 8 hours left me feeling refreshed and clear.
According to Kabat-Zinn, “Mindfulness is awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally. It’s about knowing what is on your mind.”
So how can you apply financial mindfulness to your thoughts, feelings, and values associated with money?
Start by analyzing your money story or stories and see how many of them are money lies. For many of us, these stories are old baggage that we subconsciously latch onto, because we learn them from our parents, our social class, our culture, or our own life experiences. They hold a powerful influence over us, but that doesn’t make them true.
Financial mindfulness can free you from the following money lies:
“I’ll never have enough to feel secure.” To be more mindful, ask yourself where you have abundance in your life. It doesn’t need to be financial, it could be an abundance of friends, a career you love, a family you can count on… Instead of focusing on scarcity, concentrate on abundance and it will impact how you view financial security as well.
“I never have enough to feel satisfied.” This feeling is what get-rich-quick schemes feed on. In our Western culture, our identity is deeply linked with the money we make and what this says about our status. However, wouldn’t you say your true worth and success is not reflected solely on your bank account?
“My earnings reflect my value.” This thinking can set you up for all kinds of difficulties. When your self-worth is tied up with what you make and you’re self-employed, you can end up undercharging or overcharging for your services. If you’re an employee it makes salary negotiations way too stressful! Instead, step back and consider what you truly need and value.
“I don’t deserve what I have.” There’s no need to flaunt your wealth, but you don’t want to feel ashamed of it either. If you pretend or hide who you are, that can create a feeling of inauthenticity in your life.
“I don’t want anyone to know I’m struggling.” It’s very easy to feel guilty or ashamed when we’re struggling financially. But misrepresenting the truth of your situation can plunge you into further debt. Be honest about where you’re at and you’ll find there are many others in the same boat!
“I need to suffer now to save for the future.” As a financial planner, I hear this one all the time! People often think they need to set incredibly ambitious financial goals, which means cutting back on everything they enjoy now. But trading away the present for a still unknown future isn’t a balanced and sustainable approach to saving.
“Getting a bargain is saving me money.” In the end, obsessing over bargains can mean spending more, not less. We love getting a great deal or scoring a bargain but often we end up with cheap things we don’t even want or need! Instead, consciously choose to spend your money on high-quality, well-crafted items or on things that support your community
“I need to retire early.” It’s easy to unwittingly set priorities that have no real meaning to you personally. You may assume that like “everyone” else you need to retire early and wealthy, but maybe not. I often talk to clients who would rather run a small business in their golden years or continue in a profession they love. Take the time to visualize your ideal future, not everyone else’s.
This is just a sample of money stories we may struggle with, but trust me there are many more! These stories are powerful and convincing and they can keep you from reaching your vision for the future. So take a more mindful approach and listen to what you really think and feel about money on a subconscious level.
Cultivating financial mindfulness is easier said than done. If you would like to work with a financial planner who incorporates life coaching principles into the planning process, please click here to explore your options. Or feel free to schedule a complimentary Financial Life Plan Discovery Session with me to learn how to let go of money lies so you can start living and planning with intention.